Pecked to Death By Ducks
Ever been in a situation where it seems like minor criticisms are all you hear? Sure, there are things you could improve, you know that . . . but a constant peck, peck, peck of negative feedback sure doesn't motivate you to change! One of my mentors called this gradual chipping away at one's self esteem, "being pecked to death by ducks." How to deal with it? There are ducks outside my window as I write . .
. and I know that one sure way to make them go away, is to stop feeding them. Ducks need to eat a lot, and eat often, to keep going. If they can't get food from you, they'll try someplace else. So .
. . how can you make this work for your brand of "ducks"? What about figuring out what there is about you that's FEEDING them? For example, are you reacting to their pecks? (Psychologists tell us that some people use a negative approach to get the attention they crave.) Are you working harder in response to their criticism? (When you do this, you are exhausting yourself and adding chocolate sauce to their dessert! The pecking won't end, I guarantee it.) I believe we feed our ducks when we take words of criticism home and brood. Most of us are programmed to take criticism much more seriously than we do praise, and many of us make almost a career out of taking criticism home to chew over . .
. and over . . . and again.
When Duck A criticizes me for DOING x, I have a choice. Take it home and make it last . . . or look the criticism in the face.
If it's fair and valid, I may decide to stop x-ing (it's my choice). In fact, Duck A may have done me a good turn -- and one way to keep this in mind is to say (over and over if necessary), "It's about what I DO, it's not who I BE." A WORD ABOUT SYSTEMIC DUCK FEEDERS: Some organizations and groups encourage anonymous feedback, in the mistaken belief that this provides a safe environment for honest communication. WRONG! Anonymous feedback promotes dysfunctional systems . . .
and dysfunctional systems are essentially "duck food silos." (I put a spin on an old mantra, "If you can't say it to his/her face, don't say it at all." Of course, sometimes we need help -- a mentor, an advocate, a companion, a safe structure. But whatever it takes, in healthy systems, constructive, behavior-focused criticism comes with a name attached, and if at all possible, is given face-to- face.) Finally: HOW NOT TO BE A DUCK: Before YOU criticize, think clearly. Figure out what is really bugging you. And then speak directly to the person with whom you have a problem. Use 'I' statements (a skill unknown to ducks, as far as I know).
Rehearse ahead of time to be sure you're focused on behavior (Do-ing), not Be-ing. A good rule is to ask yourself, "How would this sound if she (or he) were talking to ME?" ? , 2005.
Bella Lucc? Skincare Announces the Launch of Their New Product Line
Knoxville, TN
(ContentDesk) September 23, 2003 -- Bella Lucc? is pleased to announce the launch of its innovative skincare line, featuring fresh, handmade products created from some of the world's most exotic ingredients. Three years in development, the company recently introduced more than thirty product offerings through their website: www.bellalucce.com, with plans to unveil additional products this fall.Lela Tate, Bella Lucc?'s founder, conceived the company based on her desire to create a more natural product with an eye towards innovation, and many of their offerings provide a new twist on conventional products. "Traditional bubble baths are very drying and I wanted to create something that offered that same relaxing experience while actually moisturizing the skin." The result? Chocolate Silk Bath Bubbles, made with cocoa powder and silk proteins, are solid spheres that dissolve in the bath,...
Chocolate > Bella Lucc? Skincare Announces the Launch of Their New Product Line
Smell My (Fortune) Cookie!!!
Indianapolis, IN (ContentDesk) April 4, 2006 -- Could these be the best tasting fortune cookies ever invented? A small fortune cookie company in Indiana swears they are, and they even guarantee they smell the best, too!The fortune cookie has changed forever. Forget about the stale, chewy, tastes like a cardboard box ones you get in most Chinese restaurants, because the new style of fortune cookie is available in 12 fun new flavors and colors. These flavors are absolutely a different animal from the ones you get in Chinese restaurants, says Fancy Fortune Cookies president and founder, Mike Fry. These Fancy Fortune Cookies look different, taste different, smell different and are much different from the original almond flavor invented around 1909. And, our new chocolate-dipped fortune cookies are the best thing to happen since peanut butter ran into chocolate. Fry originally created the idea for gourmet flavors back in 1988 and found a Chinese manufacturer to help him produce his...
Smell My (Fortune) Cookie!!!
Chocolate > Smell My (Fortune) Cookie!!!
Truffles Melt Away Dry Skin
Portland, OR (ContentDesk) November 19, 2005 -- Just in time for the holidays Treat is excited to introduce the two latest additions to their soothing Confection Collection. Hot Chocolate Bath Melts and Shea Body Butter Melts, 100 percent natural bath and body treats created to heal and nourish dry skin. Hot Chocolate Bath Melts and Shea Body Butter Melts fit perfectly with Treats philosophy to offer fresh, natural and soothing products to treat dry skin, says Marnie Massie, creator of Treat. We chose shea butter and cocoa butter because they are some of the most healing natural ingredients as well as the most decadent. In true Treat style the packaging compliments the mood of the company: playful, fun and hip. The truffles are wrapped in colorful foil, packaged in brown and pink chocolate boxes and wrapped with a bow.Treats Truffles are available at upscale boutiques and spas in the United States and Canada. Treat is also available online at
Truffles Melt Away Dry Skin
Chocolate > Truffles Melt Away Dry Skin
New to iTunes, Download Appetite For Seduction, a Sensual Cooking Series Premiering on Valentine's Day
New York, NY (ContentDesk) (ContentDesk) February 8, 2006 -- Romantically challenged take heart! Sensual Cooking Diva, Shani Castri, comes to your rescue with her new iTunes Podcast, Appetite for Seduction (www.appetiteforseduction.com.)
In this tantalizing new bi-monthly series premiering on February 14th on iTunes, Shani explores the world of aphrodisiacscaviar, chocolate and many morecreating foods that inspire, excite and electrify.
Some even require that you take your clothes off before you eat!Traveling to New York Citys legendary culinary havens, including the infamous caviar emporium, Russ & Daughters and the chocolate Mecca, Vosges, Shani and her guests will explore the history and history-making possibilities of each aphrodisiac.
Never too exhausted too help you awaken your appetite for seduction, Shani will return home to guide you through her easy, yet effective recipes.
Chocolate > New to iTunes, Download Appetite For Seduction, a Sensual Cooking Series Premiering on Valentine's Day
Do's and Don'ts of Military Care Packages for Soldiers
Sending a care package to your loved one deployed overseas seems so easy, doesn't it? You just box up some cookies, attach a sweet card, and it's ready to go, right?If only it were that easy.Sending mail to ships/units overseas is tricky for many reasons (slow processing, mail limitations, etc.) but one of the most confounding is this: unless you've been deployed yourself, it's hard to know exactly what a Soldier or Sailor might want.After two deployments (and a picky husband), here's what I've learned about military care packages.Try Not to Embarrass: You might think sending a life-size portrait of your toy poodle dressed in a ballet skirt is hilarious, but chances are your husband won't be laughing when he has to carry the cumbersome "pooch" back to his room and past all his friends. You never know where your spouse will open his package, or whom he'll be with. If you think he'll be humiliated for anyone to know you sent him pink boxer shorts, either don't send them or give him a heads...
Do's and Don'ts of Military Care Packages for Soldiers
Chocolate > Do's and Don'ts of Military Care Packages for Soldiers
Porsche 911 Bags Top Sports Car Commendation
Consumer Reports, one of the most valued authorities when it comes to reviews and comparisons regarding different models of cars has announced the top high-performance sports car ? Porsche 911. The commendation was released after a number of reviews and comparisons were pored over and analyzed.
Consumer Reports made an in-house testing laboratory. It also considered several aspects aside from the aforementioned....
Chocolate > Porsche 911 Bags Top Sports Car Commendation
How To Get a Good Value on Personal Loans
Over recent years, personal loans have become a popular solution for many consumers looking to raise finance for a variety of purposes. You can get personal loans for all sorts of things, from debt consolidation to holidays, cars and other purchases. It is far easier these days to get a great deal on finance, with cheap personal loans available from a variety of competitive lenders.When looking into personal loans, you should consider a number of factors. Comparing the interest rates and terms...
How To Get a Good Value on Personal Loans Chocolate Pecked to Death By Ducks student loans
Chocolate > How To Get a Good Value on Personal Loans
Ultimate Army Themed Games & Activities for your Child's Birthday Party
Does your child dream of having an Ultimate Kid Birthday Party? It might sound easy to fulfill your child's dream, but it requires planning, coordination and patience.I have listed 10 Ultimate Army Party Games and Activities to help get you started."Water Brigade" For their first high priority assignment, your unit must put out a fire that is destroying civilian crops! Divide the soldiers into two teams; line the teams up next to each other. Put a bucket full of water at the head of each line...
Chocolate toyo tires Ultimate Army Themed Games & Activities for your Child's Birthday Party Pecked to Death By Ducks
Chocolate > Ultimate Army Themed Games & Activities for your Child's Birthday Party
Chocolate voip Pecked to Death By Ducks
Term vs Whole Life Insurance
Term life insurance offers you security only for a specific "term" or time frame - usually renewable until the insurer reaches the age of 75. As the term applies, whole life insurance provides coverage for the whole life or until the person reaches the age of 100. So, essentially the basic difference between these two types of policies lies is related to the personal financial goals; a short-term is fulfilled by a term life whereas whole life insurance is considered more for the long term.
Chocolate > Term vs Whole Life Insurance